It's
not always easy to know the right move to make in the period of time following
a breakup. This becomes even more difficult if you're trying to get your ex
back. Most people walk a very fine line between appearing open to the idea of
reconciliation and seeming just a tad over-eager.
Getting
your ex back is your number one priority. You don't want to do anything to
jeopardize that. Yet, you believe you NEED to give your ex something to
commemorate the event of his or her birth. It's understandable. But, is it the
right move to make?
Ask
yourself a few quick questions to help you determine whether or not giving a
gift at this stage of your efforts is the right move to make.
1) How often do the two of you talk? If you talk regularly and are on friendly terms, then a platonic gift is quite appropriate provided that your ex initiates most of the conversations between the two of you.
2)
Is your ex the one initiating the conversations? Your ex should be initiating
most, if not all of the conversations between the two of you. If you're the one
making all the effort to get conversations started, then you need to take a
step back and reconsider your approach.
3)
Would you feel awkward about offering a gift to your ex? If offering the gift
doesn't feel 100 percent natural to you, then it's a bad idea. End of story.
Wait until a stage in your relationship where it feels completely natural to
give a gift to your ex.
4)
Is the gift appropriate for the current state of your relationship? Here's the
real rub, though.
The
gift needs to be appropriate for how things are between the two of you now.
Don't go overly sentimental, symbolic, or inappropriate. This isn't an
opportunity to apply pressure, but to stay the course. The gift may be
meaningful, but it should not make your ex feel uncomfortable.
Gifts
are great for brightening days and celebrating life events. In ordinary
circumstances, you'd always want to give someone you're dating a gift to
celebrate a birthday or important life milestone. When you're trying to get
your ex back, though, the wrong gift -- or a gift at the wrong time, can easily
have an effect that is far opposite of its intent. Tread carefully.
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